Inner Conflicts

Keeping up with the social media life is hard. Especially when one part of you wants to get away from the ideals of what social media has implanted in people’s minds and the other part of you wants to use a platform to share good things and thoughts of what we experience in life.

For the past few months I’ve been on and off social media, for many reasons of which one being self confidence, self love or just acceptance if that’s what you call it. And as you can see I cannot pin point the reasons to what I’m feeling or thinking and that’s when a sense of fear arises and something doesn’t feel right. This starts to make you doubt a lot about yourself when your don’t fully understand your feelings yourself. Anxiety kicks in and suddenly the whole world seems to be on the opposing team, when really they have no idea of the conflicts that are inside your head and what effect that has on you mentally, physically and emotionally.

I’m not just talking about myself, there are many other young women and men across the whole globe who struggle to control this inner conflict as such. This is what my post is about today. Not just motivation or awareness I guess, but self love. Putting yourself first, when this inner fear and discomfort get a little out of our control.

Some days you’ll wake up and your heart is racing as if you’re falling but you know you won’t hit the ground. That heart beat that feels like you’re swallowing guilt when you know you haven’t taken any wrong actions or decisions. You try and explain this to people, even to those who you are the closest to and would take a bullet for you, but unfortunately they can only pretend they understand and that’s about it.

Here’s the thing, a person will never understand what you’re going through because each and every person’s feelings, inner emotions are different and no matter how much you explain and they try to understand with no fault of there own, It’s just how we were made. Yes, people can have that connection with you, they can try to feel what you feel and be there for you. That is what majority of relationships you have encompass, to connect on a level. However, this inner conflict you have, only yourself can understand, depict and piece together in a way that you can control.

That sense of uncertainty will be there, but there’s one thing we have to learn and the harshness of it is, every human for themselves. Sounds drastic I know. But as much as people may care or not care, you are the only one that can take care of you. And this is where self love comes in.

I’m not talking about skin care routines or drinking litres of water a day. Sure, be healthy it helps a lot as well as pampering and looking great. But looking great comes from within….the mind. Your mental strength and stability can change your whole outlook on life.

You know you best;
When you get in a state that feels the worst and everything is going wrong what’s the first step we take naturally? ….we get upset, cry, get angry, blame something or someone, shut ourselves off from everything and everyone, a lot of these come round back to our-selves…we end up becoming really disheartened in turn making the cause of that… “my fault”. It’s a cycle that we can’t see.
So how can we progress from this… Take the first step:

It’s okay to be upset with situations, how you react to it is in your hands. The worst could happen, mentally or physically or in any context, but we have to train ourselves to think “Okay, it’s happened/happening, can I change anything ? ” If you can’t…why worry? Take yourself out of the situation and deal with your mental state before going back to the “drawing board”. Take a break. Cool off. Breathe. Whatever your technique is do that, do that before reacting.
We are intelligent species, and have a mind that is powerful to do almost anything but we need to learn to control it.
This is not a flick of a switch and I’m a whole new person. It takes time. Especially when it situations and and aftermaths don’t feel like they are in our control. We start from healing from the inside.

It’s hard to explain such emotions that we feel we cannot pin point or control. It is hard and for me I find myself thinking of the worst case scenario and I feel my absolute rock bottom, I think so lowly of myself. It is really hard to work yourself out of this thought process. But this is where it comes to accepting; you know you’re in this situation and it’s happening and you know how you’re going to react to it, which you know cannot change instantly, but it can change.
This comes with a lot of will power and taking a step back. Having a thought process such as “Feeling like this isn’t changing anything but increasing my weakness, I’m going to accept how I’m feeling and when I’m ready to understand this I will pick myself back up without thinking about this moment again”

I’m typing this with much ease however I’m able to understand it’s not as easy, but it’s possible. Again, it’s not a flick of a switch or a night’s sleep. It’s practice and being logical and self loving.
If you tell yourself the harsh reality that “you are your own person and you have to help yourself out of theses situations” sooner, then you will get to know yourself better, you will come to understand, that if I don’t keep myself healthy and happy, my own mind will feed on my weakness and the cycle begins again.
It’s a matter of understanding what you have going on and how to move on from it.

Sometimes we cannot stop it, but we can control it. If there is nothing that we can change about a situation…let it happen, but figure out a way on how you can recover from it. Then eventually you’ll understand your capabilities, your own weaknesses and how to uplift yourself without a helping hand from the outside.

Self love will automatically follow and it will radiate towards others.

I’m writing this post because I also needed this boost.

It’s a big wide world out there and there aren’t many things we can control but one thing is for certain is we can control our minds, our body and how we use this for our own benefit and well-being. This is the first and foremost important thing about keeping yourself alive in a world so big and we shouldn’t forget it.. self love and self awareness is not selfishness.

I’m not sure if this made sense to many people but I hope this post brought some strength into one person or awareness to another as much as it felt good pouring my thoughts onto a page.

Thank you for reading.

Hope you have a lovely and uplifting week ahead.

Happy Sunday, and Keep Smiling 🙂